How It Happened
by JustWaitingForInspiration
Summary: Ego admitted to killing Meredith by planting the brain tumor, but what were the circumstances surrounding his decision? How did it really happen? Every event that involves multiple people has multiple perspectives. The first chapter is a third person look at how Meredith saw the events. The second chapter is from Ego's perspective. The third chapter, Peter's POV, is coming soon.
1. Meredith

**Mandatory Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Marvel.

 **How It Happened**

Meredith Quill looked out her bedroom window and sighed. The sun had just begun to peak through the snow-covered forest that surrounded their home, indicating that it was time to start another day. Peter was likely still sleeping. They had been up late star gazing. Peter simply enjoying identifying the constellations, which were extra bright in the crisp winter sky, while Meredith had quietly searched for any sign that her Ego was returning to her. She hated that he had to leave, but understood how instrumental it was in keeping him alive. In their time together, she had always seen his strength slowly leave him, as though it were sometimes a struggle to even exist. It was hard to let him go, but she knew deep down that it was the trips back to his home world that ultimately allowed him to return to her. After he first left, she had been devastated, convinced that she would never see him again. Ego had surprised her, though, and kept his word by returning just under two years after he left. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to be in love with a spaceman that loved her in return. She was less distressed by his departure the second time, and even less the third. He had returned approximately every two years, and had stayed for a few months at a time. She always begged him to stay longer, reminding him how he had stayed for nearly a year the first time. He would always counter by pointing out how weak he had been by the time he left, at which point she always gave in. It had become a comforting routine, one she doubted she would ever give up.

Peter, on the other hand, found no comfort in the routine. He had been fine for the first departure, since he hadn't even been born yet, and for the second departure, as he was barely two years old. However, last time, Peter had cried and cried, begging his father not to leave. Ego was clearly moved by the genuine display, as he stayed an extra four months before he finally departed, and even the departure was slow and painful. Meredith wondered if Peter would even remember who Ego was when he saw him. Meredith had begged Ego to allow her to take a photograph of him, so that Peter would have something of him to hold on to while Ego was away, but he had always said that all his space travel had made his body difficult to photograph, so Meredith and Peter were left without anything that resembled his likeness. However, it had been almost two years, so Meredith was eagerly watching for any sign that Ego was returning. This time, she had decided to ask him to take them all with him, so that they wouldn't have to be apart anymore. Wherever Ego was from, there was clearly an educational system that could teach Peter, since Ego had to learn from someone. And if Ego could breathe Earth's air, surely his planet must have hospitable air as well. It would be so nice to have the family together permanently. Maybe they could even give Peter a sibling or two! Meredith beamed at the thought. With her resolve firmly set, Meredith turned from the window and went to her closet to find some clothes for the day.

Meredith's day went by quickly. She dropped Peter off at school and went to the local café to work her eight-hour shift as a waitress. Between the breakfast crowd and the lunchtime rush, it was time to pick up Peter before she knew it. She served a dinner of hot stew and left-over rolls from the café, then sent Peter to do his homework while she did the dishes. Soon enough, it was time to put Peter to bed. He begged to stay up and star gaze again, but Meredith reminded him how tired he had been all day because of their star gazing the previous night. Peter reluctantly gave in, and was asleep before Meredith had finished singing the first verse of "Brandy". She smiled to herself, and quietly closed the door behind her as she left his room.

The smile didn't last long, though. She moved to her window once again, looking for any sign of Ego. He had to be close! It was time! She began to pace slowly back and forth, eyes never leaving the window. He can't have forgotten where they live, so what was taking him so long? She had hardly slept in the last few weeks thanks to the quiet, growing dread that maybe Ego wasn't coming back this time. She sighed, and turned her back on the window. She couldn't keep this up much longer. She was beginning to get sloppy at work, and she couldn't afford to lose this job. With a sigh, she climbed into bed and tried to sleep.

Meredith must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew she heard the front door click as it closed. She quickly climbed out of bed and moved to her bedroom door, grabbing her pink bathrobe and pulling it around her tightly as she went. She reached the door and slowly opened it, finding that the light in the kitchen was on and someone was searching the fridge. A gasp escaped her lips, and the figure turned around.

"Ego!" whispered Meredith as she realized who was standing in front of her. She ran across the room and threw herself into his arms, squeezing him tightly.

Ego returned the hug, holding Meredith close to him. "I've missed you, my River Lily."

Meredith beamed into his should as she breathed in the familiar, comforting smell of Ego. He had come after all! He was everything she remembered; tall, handsome, and endearing. She debated waking Peter so that he could see his dad, but realized Ego would still be here in the morning, so there was no need to rush. Ego pulled back enough to look at Meredith's face and smiled. "I haven't been able to stop thinking of you, my dear."

"I've missed you too, Ego. So, so much. I've searched the stars every night for the last few weeks. I knew you'd be coming back soon!" Meredith remembered Ego had been searching the refrigerator and asked, "Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich or something."

"I'd really appreciate that." With that, Ego took a seat at the small kitchen table and watched as Meredith prepared his sandwich.

"How have you been? How is your planet?" Meredith had so many questions she wanted to ask, but she knew there was no need to rush. Ego was home. There would be plenty of time. And when he was ready to leave, she was confident she and Peter would be going with him.

"It was good. I've been good" Ego responded. "Though I've missed you terribly. I couldn't get back fast enough." He never took his eyes off her as she brought him the finished sandwich and a glass of water. "Thanks, Brandy," he said with sly smirk. He then dug into his meal.

"I suppose I am Brandy now, aren't I? Bringing you food and drink, and waiting for you to drift in to port." Meredith looked away for a moment, struck by how sad that admission made her. "Your planet is the sea, isn't it? Your truest love." She gave him a sad smile and took his free hand.

Ego set his half-eaten sandwich down on the plate and took her hand in both of his. "Meredith, River Lily, you are my first and only love." The intensity of his stare told her that he meant every word. "I only return to my planet so that I might have the strength to return to you. I spend all my time away worried that something may have happened to you, that you might not be here when I return. That's why I'm only gone for two years at a time, instead of the four that I should be." He released her hand, smiled, and began eating again.

Meredith smiled back at him. This was her chance! She needed to ask him now, while the conversation was relevant and the pain of being without her was still fresh in his mind. She could make it look spontaneous, like the idea had just come to her. Then, if he happened to say no, she could always say it was just a thought. "Ego, can unexperienced space travelers survive on your planet?"

Ego looked up, surprised. "Well, I don't know. I don't think any unexperienced space travelers have ever reached my planet. Why do you ask?"

Ego look slightly apprehensive, but she wasn't willing to back down now. She wanted them to be a family again, wanted Peter to have a father who was around. She wanted to have a partner who would be there for her when she needed a break, a kind word, or a hug. He would understand. He had to! "Well, I was just… just wondering if, well…" She stumbled over the words, trying to find the right way to say it without sounding desperate or needy. She looked down and quickly said, "I mean, maybe Peter and I could come with you next time, live with you on your planet."

There, she'd said it. She looked up, and saw a flash of emotion cross Ego's face. It was an unfriendly emotion, almost like betrayal. She rushed to explain herself. "It's just, you always come to see us and you have to commit so much time traveling back to your planet just to survive, but Peter and I won't be hurt by not being on the Earth, so, I just thought…" She trailed off, unable to handle the blank, emotionless look Ego was now giving her. "Ego?"

Ego shook his head as though returning to the moment, smiled widely at Meredith, and said, "Sorry my dear, I was just thinking about all of the preparations I must make before you and Peter can come to my planet. It's a wonderful idea! I never asked, because I didn't want to make you leave the only home you've ever known."

Meredith beamed, eyes shining brightly as she accepted the meaning of Ego's words. She rushed to him and flung herself in his lap, hugging him tightly. She leaned back and kissed him, pouring all her gratitude and excitement into the action. They broke apart, and smiled at each other. Ego reached up and placed his hand on top of her head tenderly. His touch was warm and full of energy.

"Brandy, my dear, you're right. It's time you join me at sea. I must return home to procure passports so that you and our son can join me on my planet. It may take me a few Earth years, since the democracy on my planet is tedious, but I know that they'll approve it, especially since we have Peter."

Meredith gazed at him in wonder. It was really going to happen! They were really going to be a family together! She kissed Ego again fervently, and he laughed. He returned the kiss, and then gently pushed her back a bit. His face grew more serious. "Meredith, I know I just got here, but the sooner I start this paperwork and get it submitted, the sooner you and Peter will be able to join me."

Her face dropped as she comprehended his meaning. "What? You're… you're leaving already? But you haven't even seen Peter yet!" She quickly stood up and started for Peter's room. "You have to see him!"

Ego grabbed her arm as she walked by and pulled her back to him. "Meredith, he won't understand if I say hi and then leave. He may never forgive me. Think what that would mean for us on my planet." His stare implored her to listen to him. He seemed desperate to get her to listen. Maybe he had once had had a similar experience, and that's why he was so adamant that Peter not know he had been here.

Meredith sighed and sat in one of the empty kitchen chairs. "Fine. I see what you mean. Can I at least say I heard from you, and give him the good news?" Peter had to know that his father hadn't forgotten them. He seemed almost convinced that he didn't really have a father, and it broke her heart.

"That would be fine. It will give him something to look forward to over the next while." Ego smiled at her, and she felt at ease for the moment. But then Ego stood up, and she was filled with sadness once again. Ego's hand brushed the side of her face, and she stood up to hug him goodbye.

The hug lasted an eternity, but it still wasn't long enough for Meredith. "I love you, Ego. With all my heart."

Ego smiled sadly. "I know, my River Lily. I love you, too." With that, he let go of her and walked to the front door. Meredith was unable to follow, knowing that if she did, it would only delay the leaving process. Ego glanced back and smiled. The smile stayed with him as he walked out the door.

Meredith waited until she was sure that Ego was gone before slumping back into her chair. Her breaths came fast and shallow, and the tears began to flow. What had she done? What if he couldn't get the papers he needed? What if they didn't let him come back because of this? Meredith began to sob as all the terrible thoughts of what might happened rushed through her mind.

Several hours later, when the tears had finally dried up and she couldn't think of anything else that could go wrong, Meredith shakily stood and staggered to her bedroom. Her body, still clad in the pink bathrobe, had barely touched the bed before she was fast asleep, exhausted from her long, emotional night.

The next thing she knew, a small hand was patting at her. "Momma, it's time to get up. Momma, we have to go!"

Meredith sat up slowly, and looked around. Peter was standing next to her bed, dressed for school and looking very concerned. She then looked at the clock and realized what time it was. Her eyes widened, and she flung the covers back as she scrambled to get up and get ready. It was going to be a long day. She could feel it.

* * *

The time passed slowly for Meredith. Peter had taken their discussion about Ego's current mission well, and seemed excited to be going to another planet. It was hard for her to tell him that he couldn't tell others about where he would be going. She didn't want to upset someone and lose custody of Peter, after all. She knew how crazy it sounded. At times, she almost couldn't believe it was true. When those moments of doubt began to bother her, she returned to the small valley where Ego had first told her that he was from outer space. Seeing his flower always reminded her that he was real, and that he would keep his promise. She often talked to it, telling it how excited to see its planet of origin she was and how much she loved and missed Ego. The flower often seemed as though it understood, pulsing with its odd energy in varying patterns. She found it oddly comforting, as though she were talking to Ego himself.

It had been almost a year now, and Meredith had become quite stressed about her and Peter's situation. Headaches had become a constant companion, and she often became dizzy when she stood up. When she wasn't frustrated with herself for allowing her emotions to get the best of her, she could laugh about how silly this was all going to be once Ego returned. Peter often hovered around her when they were together, and she knew she was worrying him. It's just a phase. It'll pass.

Except, it didn't. The headaches and dizziness grew worse, and her muscles seemed intent on betraying her. One day at the café, she picked up a tray of dirty dishes, only to have it go crashing to the ground seconds later. Meredith stood there amidst the shards of broken plates and cups, mortified at her own clumsiness. After that, the manager wouldn't let her carry more than a plate in each hand, further humiliating Meredith.

On the home front, she had become so weak that her father had begun to come to visit daily instead of the weekly visit he usually made. Meredith made sure to thank her father every day, because his help was invaluable to keeping Peter in line and maintaining the house.

Things took a turn for the worse when she fainted at work the following week. She woke up confined t a small bed and a flurry of activity around her. "She's awake!" cried one voice.

"Get the doctor!" cried another.

A face appeared over her, asking her how she was feeling. Meredith stared at the figure, unable to comprehend the words. "My son," she finally choked out. "Where is my son?"

The nurse told her that the hospital had alerted Peter's school, which had called her father to come get him. They were currently at the house, because visiting hours were closed. They had promised to return the first thing next morning. Meredith relaxed knowing that Peter was alright, and allowed the nurse to check her over.

"Miss Quill, I'm afraid we have some bad news." The nurse looked quite upset. That was never good. It's a nurse's job to not let her patients know how bad the news really is. Meredith leaned forward again, terrified of what she was about to learn.

"When you arrived, you were barely breathing. Your boss told the 911 operator that you've been suffering from headaches and dizziness lately, so we did a brain scan. We found a tumor, Miss Quill. A big one. That's why you've been having headaches and dizzy spells."

"Is that why I've been losing my ability to carry stuff, too?"

"Yes, that is a common symptom as well."

"When will I go in for surgery?

The nurse looked down for a moment, then looked up at Meredith. "The tumor appears to be very aggressive. We need to shrink it down first, before we can take it out. Otherwise, you may die."

Meredith paled. Die? But she was supposed to be going to Ego's planet, to be a family! She couldn't do that if she died! Frantically, she asked, "How soon can we start the shrinking process?"

"As soon as we're confident that you're stable, we can begin the chemotherapy."

"Good. I promised to take my son on a trip soon."

* * *

The chemotherapy was taking a lot from Meredith. First, she lost her hair. Then went her appetite. Next, her body fat. The chemo was taking everything from her, not just the cancer. She was tired all the time, and it hurt to do anything, including rest in bed. The chemo was so draining that he doctors refused to dismiss her from the hospital, fearing she wouldn't be able to survive on her own. Christmas, New Years, and Peter's birthday all came and went, and still the cancer remained. The doctors called it the most aggressive cancer they had ever seen. It was as if the cancer had a will of its own, and was refusing to die. The longer the fight went on, the more convinced Meredith became that she was never going to get to be with her whole family again.

She hid her sorrow from Peter, and instead reminded him that his father would be coming for him. Now eight years old, Peter was resistant to Meredith's reassurances that his father was coming to get them soon. Whenever she would start that again, Peter would put on the mix tape she had made him, forcing her to stop and sing along to appease her son. One day, she realized that he knew just as well as she did that she wasn't going to leave the hospital again. She cried all night, allowing herself to come to terms with her impending death. When she finally stopped, she found a new determination to prepare everything for Peter. She had her father bring her a cassette tape and a cassette-enabled radio so that she could record new songs, ones Peter didn't know yet.

She also made the arrangements for her father to become the legal guardian of Peter until his father arrived to take him away. By this point, she was telling anyone who would listen that Peter's father was a star traveler who would be back some day to take Peter with him to his home planet. Most of those who heard her story simply believed that it was the cancer talking, others believed that her lover had lied to her to avoid taking Peter when she died. Meredith didn't care what they believed, so long as they listened. Part of her regretted asking Ego if they could come with him, because she would have had him here with her if she hadn't. This would be best for Peter, though. He'd be going somewhere that wasn't tainted with the memories of a dying mother. Meredith was too tired to care about how depressing that thought was. She barely had the energy to finish up her final Earthly tasks.

A few days later, when Peter came to visit, she gave him the new mixed tape, telling him to open it after she died and to think of her. She could see the fear and sorrow in his eyes, and reached for him, trying to reassure him one last time. "Your grandpa is gonna take such good care of you. At least until your daddy comes back to get you... Take my hand. Peter? Take my hand."

With Peter's hand securely in hers, Meredith knew it was time. She closed her eyes, and thought a sorrowful apology to Peter and Ego for failing them. She knew Ego would be coming for Peter soon, and the thought was comforting. She sighed softly, and let go.

* * *

Author's Notes

Thank you so much for reading this story! As soon as I heard Ego talking about how he returned to see Meredith three times and gave her a tumor, I was plagued by the question of how it happened. Did Meredith know? Why was she so confident that Ego would return for Peter? If he returned multiple times, how did Peter have no recollection of who his father was? I wrote this story to answer these questions. However, like all stories involving more than one person, there is more than one perspective on how it happened. The next chapter will take a look at how it happened from Ego's perspective.


	2. Ego

**Chapter 2: Ego's Perspective**

Ego's pristine white spaceship cut through the vast expanse of space with ease as its master gazed outward, focusing on nothing in particular. He was only a few hours from the planet Earth, where his human mate likely awaited his return. The thought of being with her again sent a rush of unexpected excitement throughout his body. _Meredith. A creature unlike any other I have ever met,_ Ego mused as he continued to stare aimlessly at the passing planets and ships. Though loathe to admit it, Ego was quite fond of the human woman, which is why he was on his way to Earth yet again. This would be his third trip specifically to visit his River Lily. Ego's dedication to this earthling was starting to concern him. _She is only a temporary distraction,_ he reminded himself. _She is a mortal, and of a short-lived species, too. My mission will continue as it has since the day I first realized it._ The thought made him sadder than he expected, and he sighed in frustration. _When did I become so easily swayed?_

Ego ambled to the front of his ship, knowing he was still some distance from the Solar System yet feeling compelled to check his ETA anyway. He settled into the captain's chair, which happened to be the only chair in the compartment, as he always travelled alone. Sure enough, the console showed the remaining travel time at 2 Earth hours. He always programed his ship to show time in that of the intended destination to help him acclimate to the world he was heading towards, a trick he had picked up when he began making return trips to planets. Being a Celestial, he had never had need for measuring time until he began to interact with mortals. _Only when time can run out is there a need for measuring time._ He smiled ruefully.

The smile slipped from his face as he thought about how much "time" he had wasted trying to father offspring with the various species that inhabited the expanse of space. Millions of children, and all had been failures so far. He was running out of intelligent species, and he really didn't want to wait millions of years for new ones to evolve. _Peter is one of the only hopes I have left. For Meredith's sake, I hope he inherited my Celestial energy._ He couldn't bear to imagine how sad Meredith would be if her beloved son were to die. _But they all die in the end._ Only he alone had survived unending, at least that he had found so far. _Although, if Peter DID inherit my energy, he will outlive Meredith so long that she will likely fade from his memory after a while._ It was a disquieting thought. _Will I forget Meredith in a few millennia if I don't actively work to remember her? Am I capable of forgetting?_

Overwhelmed by the thoughts worming their way into his carefully designed skull, he lurched to his feet and headed to the back. Earth was on the horizon, and he wanted to sneak in a refresher course on Earth cultures and customs before landing. While Meredith knew the truth of his existence, he'd rather not let the entire human race know that aliens were real. Not yet. They had hardly begun to dabble in space exploration. No need to spoil the surprise that was coming, particularly not if he was able to find an heir to his energy and glorious mission. _What is that human saying? Ignorance is bliss?_ _Yes, I'll let them have their bliss. One day I'll remake their existence into my own, but for now, I must leave them to their own devices._ With that thought in mind, he sat down on his couch and pulled up his notes on humanity and Earth.

Before he knew it, the ship was issuing an impending arrival alert. Ego dismissed his Earth notes and made his way back to the control room. His ship was gliding over a snow-covered forest, decreasing its speed dramatically as it began to descend into a small clearing. Not for the first time, Ego was pleased with his foresight to make the spaceship so small. Finding a space to land was rarely a problem. As he made his way towards the door, he glanced back to check the external temperature and adjusted his internal temperature to compensate for the lower temperatures of the planet. The icy winter winds struck him suddenly as he exited the ship, and he raised his internal temperature a few degrees higher just to be safe. Ego shouldered into the wind, heading for Meredith's house only a few hundred yards away.

As Ego reached the front door, he paused. Inside, he heard the ticking of the clock and the low rumble of the furnace, but otherwise the house was still. _Meredith did always go to bed early, even for a human. Something about being early to rise and becoming healthy. Humans have so many sayings for such a primitive species._ Still, he found her sayings to be endearing, particularly her often-quoted songs. Ego opened the door and went inside. Reluctant to wake Meredith just yet, he decided to feed his physical form. As he began to rummage through the refrigerator, he heard a gasp. He turned around to see Meredith in her pink bathrobe, clutching it to her as though she had seen a ghost. His heart skipped a beat. _She looks just the same as I left her._

"Ego!" whispered Meredith. Ego opened his arms to embrace her as she ran towards him. He pulled her close and inhaled deeply, surprised by how much he had missed the smell of her hair.

"I've missed you, my River Lily." He heightened the sensitivity of his nerve endings so that he could take in every sensation from their contact. He allowed a few moments to pass, drinking in the moment. Finally, he pulled back slightly to see Meredith's radiant face. "I haven't been able to stop thinking of you, my dear," he admitted truthfully. Only moments of active work towards his purpose granted him relief from her presence in his mind. _I will never know how I came to be so obsessed with this woman._

"I've missed you too, Ego. So, so much. I've searched the stars every night for the last few weeks. I knew you'd be coming back soon!" Ego smiled wider, pleased to know that Meredith had missed him nearly as much as he had missed her. She took his hands. "Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich or something."

Leave it to Meredith to remember what he had been doing when she found him. His River Lily is a kind, compassionate being. "I'd really appreciate that."

Ego took a seat at the small table, watching as Meredith bustled around the kitchen in a practiced manner. Sneaking a glance at him, she struck up a conversation. "How have you been? How is your planet?"

 _She's always been fascinated with the stars and my stories of space travel. Then again, they all are._ "It was good. I've been good." Ego inwardly cringed at the lie. _I can't tell her about the others, or my children. She's only a human. Her compassion for others would outweigh her love for me. Meredith would likely make the connection to Peter, and where would that leave us?_ _Letting her believe that I live on a populated planet is a kindness._ "Though I've missed you terribly. I couldn't get back fast enough," he quickly added to compensate for the lie. He watched her carefully, wondering if she could sense how rough the last two years had been. She seemed unaware of his plight as she moved towards him with a sandwich and glass of water. "Thanks, Brandy." He smirked at the reference to her favorite song and reached for the sandwich.

Brandy looked surprised, then said "I suppose I am Brandy now, aren't I? Bringing you food and drink, and waiting for you to drift in to port." _Exactly. Interesting that she should love a song that so accurately describes her life._ Meredith smiled morosely, "Your planet is the sea, isn't it? Your truest love." _Foolish girl, with my purpose, my true sea, I will soon have a million planets. I only need to find a species that I can pass my Celestial power through to the next generation._ His annoyance at her suggestion was stronger than he would have anticipated. This was not the first time another had suggested his planet was more important than them. _With Meredith, everything becomes more emotional. Absurd._

Meredith reached for his free hand and took hold of it. Ego set down his half-eaten sandwich on the plate and took her hand in both of his. "Meredith, River Lily, you are my first and only love." _Of all the creatures I have made love to, you are the one I am closest to, the only one I have ever returned to visit. Yondu has collected all the children I have ever fathered; their mothers have never seen me again. Only you, Meredith, have been able to keep my attention. It may be the closest thing to love I have ever felt._ He stared into her eyes, willing her to understand the depth of his feelings for her. "I only return to my planet so that I might have the strength to return to you. I spend all my time away worried that something may have happened to you, that you might not be here when I return. That's why I'm only gone for two years at a time, instead of the four that I should be." Satisfied with his explanation, he let go of her hand and returned to eating.

Meredith must have understood his message, as she smiled brightly at him. It was as though a switch had been flipped, and an unspoken worry had been dispelled. "Ego, can unexperienced space travelers survive on your planet?" Meredith asked suddenly.

Ego look up reflexively, momentarily unable to comprehend what Meredith had just said. _She can't be thinking… no, not her too. Maybe I'm overreacting due to past experiences. This is Meredith, not one of the others._ _I'll let her explain._ "Well, I don't know. I don't think any unexperienced space travelers have ever reached my planet. Why do you ask?"

Meredith must have been able to detect his concern, because she stuttered for a moment before attempting to answer. "Well, I was just… just wondering if, well… I mean, maybe Peter and I could come with you next time, live with you on your planet."

Due to the weight of her question, Meredith had looked down, which allowed Ego to hide the flurry of emotions that rushed through him. Rage, despair, and betrayal were just the few that he recognized. Never had he felt so vulnerable. _Meredith! You were supposed to be the one who understood! You can't come to live with me, not with what I've had to hid beneath the planet. Not with the guilt of what I've had to do for the purpose. The purpose does not include you, in the end. It can't. Only a single other, my successful offspring, can take part in the purpose. I can't just tell her no, though. I may lose her and our son if I do. Humans have proven to be unpredictable creatures._

Meredith seemed troubled by his silence. "It's just, you always come to see us and you have to commit so much time traveling back to your planet just to survive, but Peter and I won't be hurt by not being on the Earth, so, I just thought…" Ego gave her no reaction, slowly realizing what had to be done. _I need to leave you knowing I cared, for both you and our son. I need to have him as an ally when the time comes. I can't have you sabotaging the purpose, and I can't tell you a lie convincing enough to justify why you cannot come with me. Humans are short-lived creatures with so many weaknesses. Their own bodies routinely attack them. Maybe Meredith's body should attack her, too._ The idea did not make him happy, but the longer he thought about it, the more confident he was that it was his only option.

"Ego?" queried Meredith, looking apprehensively at him. He shook his head and prepared to do what he must. He began with a big smile and said, "Sorry my dear, I was just thinking about all of the preparations I must make before you and Peter can come to my planet. It's a wonderful idea! I never asked, because I didn't want to make you leave the only home you've ever known."

His response may have been a bit over the top, but Meredith seemed to buy it. She responded with an enthusiastic smile and watering eyes as she rushed to throw herself in his lap. She hugged him so tightly he felt he might lose feeling in his sides. As a final thank you, she kissed him fully, and he could feel her every emotion in the kiss. Knowing it would likely be one of their last, Ego made sure to take in every moment. When she pulled back, he smiled at her and reached his hand up to her head. He forced some of the radioactive energy that he contained within him to move through his body, up his arm, into his hand. He held it there for a moment, knowing there was no turning back when he let go. He gazed into her trusting eyes, and felt a pang of guilt and shame. For a moment, he lost his nerve. This was the woman who brought him back, time and again. She gave him what no other could. _Humans are short-lived creatures. She'll be dead in a few decades even if I don't do anything. I'm just speeding up the inevitable. If only she hadn't proposed disrupting my purpose. I love you, Meredith._ He released the energy into her head, and felt it's poisonous effects. He pulled her close.

"Brandy, my dear, it's time you join me at sea. I have to return home to procure passports so that you and our son can join me on my planet. It may take me a few Earth years, since the democracy on my planet is tedious, but I know that they'll approve it, especially since we have Peter." _When you die, my dear, your body with become one with the soil of this planet. When my purpose is recognized, you will be part of it._ Meredith, ignorant of his internal musings, kissed him again, passionately. Ego had to laugh, though it was mirthless. He couldn't stay with her, not with what he had done. He had to get out.

Ego pushed her back gently and looked her in the eye. "Meredith, I know I just got here, but the sooner I start this paperwork and get it submitted, the sooner you and Peter will be able to join me." _Please, be as desperate as I am._ She clearly wasn't, as she looked as though he had struck her across the face.

"What? You're… you're leaving already? But you haven't even seen Peter yet!" She quickly stood up and started for Peter's room. "You have to see him!" She made for the hallway to Peter's bedroom, but he quickly reached out and grabbed her arm. _I can't see him now. Human children are more perceptive than adults. He will know something is wrong._ Ego pulled her back to him carefully.

"Meredith, he won't understand if I say hi and then leave. He may never forgive me. Think what that would mean for us on my planet." _She had to see how bad it would be for him to get a glance of his father and then have him leave again. If he comes out here and sees us, she may be able to force me to stay, and I'll have to watch what I've done. I can't do that. I may betray the purpose if I have to watch her die._

Meredith sighed and sunk into one of the other chairs. "Fine. I see what you mean. Can I at least say I heard from you, and give him the good news?" _Yes, that would help! If he thought that his father was coming back for both of them, having Yondu collect just the boy after Meredith died would be easier on everyone. Peter would be desperate for a parent, and it would simply seem like I was too late to get everything in order. Yes, this will help the purpose greatly, provided that Peter has some of my energy._

"That would be fine. It will give him something to look forward to over the next while." He smiled at her, hoping to relax her enough that he could leave. Watching her face carefully, he stood up. His action brought a shadow to her face, so he reached out and brushed the side of her face, spontaneously adding a little more energy to move the process along. She stood up and hugged him tightly, clinging to him as though letting go would kill her.

"I love you, Ego. With all my heart." The honesty in her statement only made Ego want to get out faster. Every word she said increased the chances that he would take it all back.

"I know, my River Lily. I love you, too." He smiled wistfully, regretting having come at all, but having been unable to help himself. _Goodbye, Meredith. I will miss you._

* * *

Nearly two years later, as Ego sat among the bones of his failed offspring, he felt a sudden surge of energy. He realized with a start that it was the radiation he had left with Meredith. If the energy had returned… _It is done. Peter, the only remaining hope for my purpose. It is time to find out if I can fulfill my purpose._ The guilty pull to return to Earth was suddenly released, and Ego felt more free than he had in a very long time.

He teleported to the surface and grabbed a communicator. "Yondu, come in Yondu. It is time. Bring me my human son." He turned to look in the direction of Earth. It was only a matter of time. His purpose would be realized.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

I intentionally put more first person thought in Ego's chapter, because I perceive Ego to be more of a thinker than an emotional being. He thought himself into being, after all. He still has emotions, of course, but I feel that he tries to use his reasoning and logic to guide himself. Hence the shift in writing style.

I also wanted to show Ego as a conflicted character. Each time I watch the movie, I become more convinced that Ego really did care about Meredith, but that his "purpose" had become his sole reason for continuing to exist. I wonder what would have happened if he had been able to meet Meredith much earlier in his existence. Would he still have felt the need to kill her for the purpose? Would the purpose have even become something he thought of? So many possibilities.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


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